Spelled In Blood

We will be spelled in blood. Who thinks thoughts like that outside of moments like this? When the darkness is so spectacular. When, if I couldn't feel you, I wouldn't even know you were there. We will be spilled in blood. Catastrophic blood, gathering blood, blood like perfume and the particular puff of your lip and the way you're not even a person behind the skin of your face. I'm a person. I am one. singular. person melting like a pillar candle in the dark of this room. I don't even know what color your sheets are. We will be spilled in blood but it's happening on the inside, where no one can see it collect. I will be spilled in blood because I know you like me that way. But I'm not here for that reason, axe man, syphoning man, empty-behind-your-face-and-up-your-arms man. I'm not here because I know you only like the spilled blood version of me. I'm here because I can't stop bleeding on my inside anyway. Doesn't really matter where I eviscerate, does it? Where I pool? Under who's hands? You were the first person to come at me with such bad intentions, such selfish intentions, but not the last.

How have I managed to maintain my light? That . . . light switch that refuses to stay down no matter how many times it's been turned down. We will be spelled in blood. This is the way that I'll remember us. No daylight needed or remembered. No color. Just emptiness of color. Just rooms devoid. Corners gnawing and beckoning and threatening and beckoning. We will be spelled in blood and eventually I'll do something beautiful with it. I'll make something beautiful of it. But I hope you know, the way I think you knew then, that my ability to make beauty from this blood has nothing to do with you. 

🎧 Bring This Prompt into Your Own Body

The essay you just read began as a prompt inside the Body Writers Circle. We take our prompts from song lyrics and write whatever our bodies want to say. If your own body feels full or unsafe to exist in today, I invite you to try this gentle Body Writing™ practice:

Set the Mood: 

Get cozy, plug in headphones and sink into this week's featured song on Spotify.

Listen:

Close your eyes. Don't worry about the lyrics or what they mean intellectually. Just notice how the rhythm, melody and vibe affect your body. What do you feel opening up and coming forward?

Write:

Open your journal and write the opening lyric (We will be spelled in blood.) at the top of your page. Don't try to match my writing; just notice: what does it bring up for you? What does it make your body want to say? Write for three pages – without editing, censoring yourself or trying to make your writing "good."

Why Journaling Alone Is Only the First Step

While practicing this alone can bring beautiful moments of connection and relief, trying to navigate your deepest, most intense stories alone is a big ask for a sensitive nervous system. When you're the only one holding the pen and the space, your inner critic takes charge easily, causing you to freeze up or pull back before finding the deeper medicine.

True somatic resolution requires co-regulation.

Which is why doing this work inside an ultra-intimate, zero-critique group of just 5 to 6 women changes everything. In the Body Writers Circle, you don't carry emotional weight by yourself. The shared presence of our tiny, trusted community holds space for you – allowing you to feel safe venturing into the depths your body needs without freezing or flooding.

If you feel a quiet, resonant yes to this, you belong with us. 

A new, founding member circle is opening soon. (June 2026)

Add your name to the waitlist here, for first access to a space. 💗